adopt and keep calm

my little adopted boy and me.

Small changes, big leaps.

on February 2, 2013

This morning, amongst all the grunting and defiance from Bonzo I am still smiling.

Smiling, because yesterday school jumped up 2o gears, and despite them seeing very little of Bonzo’s angst and emotional issues, they sat, in a meeting with me and listened to me talking (far too fast and with far too little eye contact), and responded. Responded instantly.

The brick wall we hit a few weeks ago, now seems less of a challenge.

I explained to them as best as  I could, as really, there are no words to explain what is going on with Bonzo it is perhaps inexplainable. I had a sound recording of the screaming and sobbing that fills at least 50% of his time at home, but didn’t need to play it, and I had a picture that he had drawn of him, feeling alone and sad in the dining hall.

Scan 1The rabbit like creatures at the bottom are his friends, he is the sad face at the top. Heart wrenching pictures from a 5 year old…………..

I also gave them the AUK booklet ‘Education Now’.

So, what is going to happen.

From this week, Bonzo will come home for lunch a couple of times a week.

He will be allowed to take a snack with him to school for the afternoons. (morning snack is provided)

The school will look at the possibility of using his Pupil Premium money to provide lunchtime support for the other 3 days, and if that isn’t possible, look at other ways of having a member of staff for him to touch base with.

Each Monday I will be given a detailed plan of the week – including which staff will be in the rooms, when Mrs D will be at meetings etc. Any last minute changes will be passed on verbally at drop off. This will be topped up by informal chats as often as are needed.

During class more attention will be paid as to where Bonzo is sitting and with who he is sitting. More attention will be given to him at less structured times.

Things like dvd watching will be checked with me first and opportunity will be given for me to decide if he joins the class or not.

And, the best bit…..

When I gently approached with Bonzo, the topic of  coming home for lunch a couple of times a week, apart from wanting to know exactly when, his reaction made it all worthwhile – he looked up, grinned the biggest possible grin, and for the first time that I remember, possibly the first time ever, leapt up to me, threw his arms round my neck and during the biggest hug he could muster, said ‘thank you Mummy’.

Clearly I can’t name the school, but if I could, I would – small changes for them are going to make a huge difference for one little boy.

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10 responses to “Small changes, big leaps.

  1. Considerer says:

    Bless his boots. Well done that school.

  2. Mumdrah says:

    Great work with the school! You just got to keep it a priority in their minds now so it doesn’t slide. I loved reading that ‘Team Up’ art. So important to slay these dragons together, in cahoots. Side by side. Another victory. Great going!

  3. Stix says:

    So thrilled that the school are on board and putting these measures in place.
    Best feeling ever when they surprise you with those big hugs :-)
    And thanks for linking up with The Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

  4. You had me crying again at the end. Have you seen my post from yesterday? You are mentioned.

  5. As a teacher, it is awesome to hear about schools who will take an active role in doing everything they can do support any child/student. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Well that Thank you completely choked me. I’m so pleased for this break through for you, with the school but mostly the one with Bonzo.
    Thanks for sharing on the Weekly Adoption Shout Out

  7. new mummy says:

    fantastic breakthrough. schools can be incredibly lonely and isolating systems and tiny steps towards helping children fit in a re possibel with the creativity and insight needed but sorry you have had to get to a breakdown point and to fight for it.

  8. swanbythelakeside says:

    I was not adopted but I remember how lonely and scared school lunch made me feel, and how I clung to one particular child and had to sit next to her every lunch until I was 7. The playground was an abyss and wet play an incredible relief.

    So I completely feel for Bonzo. And didn’t hesitate to bring my child home for lunch when he had difficulties in Reception. It is not a question of getting used to something, it is more that one day he will be “ready”.

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