I love a coincidence.
We’ve had no school for 4 days, and we’ve had happy, relaxed boy for 4 days. Yahoo, what a coincidence.
Life is beginning to form a pattern.
It goes like this.
When school is happening we are upset, argumentative, defiant, cross, stroppy……
When school isn’t happening we are happier, calmer, less defiant, more easy going…….
We have now (I think) had 2 weeks of our new school routine. It has gone well. The teachers have kept their promises of sending home the daily itinary of Bonzo’s activities, importantly anything out of the ordinary is highlighted, and I get little pictures of who was in the classroom. This makes me laugh, as the info is for me, not Bonzo, so names would suffice……
Most of the days they have remembered to give Bonzo his afternoon snack and on the days it was forgotten I have been told so he can eat it as we walk out of school.
They are being more observant of him at lunch time.
And, twice a week he has come home for lunch, or I have been to school for lunch. (always a dangerous activity as I am never entirely certain that I will be able to get up off the miniature chairs!).
So, our emotional diary now goes something along these lines.
Saturday (yes, I know, this is not the first day of the week, just easier for this purpose) – Bonzo is quite happy. He has his swimming lesson & bike club. All is fun, all is happy, we may even get laughter. The rest of the day goes relatively well.
Sunday – morning might be quite smooth. We may pop along to church, we may meet friends, we may do nothing, generally whatever we do it is fine. Then after nap (yes, he still naps at 5.5yrs!), he generally susses that tomorrow is Monday. Bugger. Defiant, stroppy, argumentative child commences his negative whims. A 4 mile march round the woods normally keeps him (and me) on the straight and narrow. Home to bed.
Monday – crash, bang, wallop. Sigh, tut, demand, crash, bang, wallop. Put on repeat. Go to work, get dropped off at school. Home from school. Boss Big Charge around or just scream at me, to me and generally make everyone’s life as awkward as he can.
Tuesday – repeat Monday.
Weds – morning as above. Lunchtime – skip home, have lovely calm lunch, skip back to school. Come out of school happily & play beautifully with Big Charge.
Thurs – repeat above. With the added bonus of Special Play after school – the 1 on 1 attention seems to be being enjoyed. (minus home for lunch)
Fri – repeat Wednesday
And so it continues.
There will soon be more help at hand. A PAS worker came out yesterday and wants to put several things in place. Mainly, and most importantly, theraplay for Bonzo and me. This will mean missing more school, but at this point in time, his happiness and attachment is more important than school. She is also keen he comes home for lunch more frequently – this will depend on work.
Oh, and a big plus. The PAS worker informed me that the school Bonzo goes to is THE school for children with emotional issues to be attending. She wishes all schools would help in the same way. I had sort of realised I had found a great school, but nice to have it echoed by someone official.
And today, 4th day of no school, 4th day of 100% being with me, and we had a great day in London with friends. A day that seemed normal, normal family life with family friends. Bonzo was as good (or at times not) as the other children, was as happy as the other children, and a great time was had by all. (and nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing Bonzo playing happily with the children of my old friends)
That horizon may be a long way away, but it seems that there may be hope on it after all!