Ah, so term is over, work has finished, visitors have gone, all the chocolate is hidden (mainly inside me) and a relative normality has resumed.
It is ages since I have blogged properly – few Silent Sundays but that’s all.
Bonzo is doing better in some ways and not so good in others. In general though, life is better than at the beginning of the year – and with support from school, Camh, PAS, friends we are moving in the right direction. Albeit slowly.
It is looking more and more likely that his eye rolling is in fact a tic. (this is my diagnosis, not official!). He holds it all together in school, then comes home and let’s it all out. Involuntarily – seems to have no control, and for the most part isn’t aware he is rolling his eyes, and now, nodding his head diagonally as well. If this was happening at school, surely they would have noticed?
His main problem however is still the Insecure Attachment, which I know isn’t going to ‘do one’ soon. He, on the plus side, is now voicing his concerns ever so slightly.
‘Mummy, only 2 more sleeps till the Easter holidays then I can be with you the whole time’.
Whoopee – indeed, and by the whole time, when we are at home he means the whole time. If I move too quickly there is a danger I will crush him, knock him over, or trip over him and break my leg. Where ever I am, so is he. But he has developed a knack of arriving so quietly that I don’t know he is near me (though you would think by now I could’ve worked it out!). He will now no longer clean his teeth unless I am in the bathroom next to him – I tentatively asked him why, ‘because I can’t hear you when I brush my teeth, my brush is too noisy’. (his brush is in fact silent, it is the brushing that is noisy). He won’t do his shoes up unless I am near him as the velcro is so noisy, again, he can’t hear where I am.
But, as soon as anyone else enters the equation – be it Granny, Pickle, Pop, friends, neighbours, then I no longer get eye contact, let alone a smile. If I touch him, I get ‘ow that hurts’ or plain ‘get off me’ and so on, and so on. At night time he won’t kiss good night or these days rarely accepts a cuddle.
So, as we all know, the coin has two sides. On the one side he is terrified I am going to disappear in a puff of smoke, and on the other side, he wants me nowhere near him – that way, he saves himself from too much hurt the day that I do disappear (which isn’t on my to do list!).
Most of these little quirks disappear when we are on neutral ground. We are away next week, and apart from stroppiness (which could just be character) I am expecting a fun week.
So, they are the negatives, the positives are flowing too – his drawing and expressing himself through drawing is coming along brilliantly, he has just got his 10m swimming badge and is loving the new swimming club and is holding his own nicely with children a couple of years older. He is loving the great outdoors and getting more adventurous with what he will climb, hold (ie worms), go near.
And here are a few pics of a little boy with a whole heap of emotions going on in his head – enjoying the freedom from worry that only outside adventures can bring.