adopt and keep calm

my little adopted boy and me.

What’s this ‘love’ thing all about?

on February 13, 2014

Unless any of you have been hibernating for the past few weeks, it won’t have escaped your notice that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. And for the first time it hasn’t escaped Boyo’s notice either.

Now, clearly, being single, I don’t do a whole lot for Valentine’s Day. But it seems that some of the children in his class are geared up for it to be a ‘big day’. As a school they are doing a quick & easy ‘wear red to school’ fundraiser for the PTA so it will definitely be mentioned one way or another.

In the playground this morning a Mum of Boyo’s friend told me she (the daughter) had made Boyo a Valentine’s card and bought him some chocolate. So, at lunchtime today, in amongst the 3 tantrums and continuous argument (we really don’t live on a mountain!) I asked him if he would like to make anyone a card. ‘oh yes Mummy, I know that Tilly has made me a card and I’d like to make one for Milly too’.

After calm-down number 3 I got a few bits out, quickly drew some hearts with glue and let him do the rest. Very structured, but no way Boyo would take a card that didn’t ‘look right’, and at the moment all his artwork is ‘wrong’. So, a bit of guidance and he had made 2 cards that he thinks look good.

So, I have no problem with this. But what I do have is a slight niggling problem with how commercial & ‘on the surface’ Valentine’s days is, especially for a little boy who can’t get his head around the concept of love in the first place. 4yrs on and he isn’t convinced I love him. Ask him outright and he will say ‘I don’t know’ (not that I have asked him, I just tell him that I do!). Ask him what love is, how does he feel love and he will reply, ‘look at my Lego’ (or something else abstract and irrelevant). So, does giving a card &buying cheap tat from a shop to declare ‘love’ give him confused messages.

I think it probably does.

On the flip side of the coin it does give me more openings to talk about love over the next 24hrs and to assure him that it is significantly deeper than the displays in Tesco.

Meanwhile, he will be happy to get a card from the girl in school, and who wouldn’t be pleased to receive one of these? (the lollipop is for him – even I got taken in by the commerical tat!)


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6 responses to “What’s this ‘love’ thing all about?

  1. frogotter says:

    I always give the boys something for Valentine’s Day too. Any excuse to tell then that I love them!
    I did ask them if they thought I loved them and Eldest said ‘of course, you must love us or you wouldn’t give us sweets and let us choose what’s for tea.’ So, there you go, the shops are right, it’s all about heart-shaped lollipops.

  2. Esther says:

    What beautiful cards Boyo and you have made . wow . boyo has got a really special mum ! Well done . I m sure his friend will love it

  3. newm says:

    They are lovely cards… well done boyo.

  4. Thanks all – the cards were well received and he came out of school with a bag full of chocolate hearts from a little friend. He was very happy! (and I have only eaten 2!)

  5. I, too, have the single person on Valentines Day thing going on and thankfully OB is too young to have noticed anything, although he did bring some heart-shaped biscuits home from Playgroup that he’d made. He shared them out with his friends!! When the time comes I think I’ll go with the heart-shaped lollipop approach too!

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